The Trappings of Fame | The Introspection Collection
I think the need for fame is an
interesting concept. And what I find
interesting about it is not only why
people want it, but also when they get it
how some don't want it anymore. And so
when we look at fame, if we look at the
reasons why we want to be famous, I mean
this is just my perspective on it,
there's this need to feel validated.
There's this need to feel wanted. It's
almost like a need for some sort of love.
Right? I mean what reason do people have
that they need to work this hard, and go
this far out of their own way to want to
get this kind of attention. There's a
biological reason why. An evolutionary
reason why, we feel the need to reach for
Because if we didn't, there wouldn't
be anybody famous. There would be nobody
needing to feel that they need to be
famous. And so when people say they want
to be famous I think what they're trying
to say is they want to be accepted. They
probably feel isolated
maybe they didn't feel like they were
part of a family. I mean some people are
part of a family and still feel the need
to be famous.
But there's this there's
the acceptance there's a solution of
this expectation that the world is going
to appreciate me. They're gonna
appreciate me they're gonna appreciate
my work. Some people just want to be
famous for the sake of being famous.
I think they look out into the world
and they see that people get this kind
of attention. They get their needs met.
They get recognition. They get respect.
They get money, women, drugs, whatever it is.
And so there's this illusion out
there that if I achieve this in my life
if I make it to this point I have
accomplished something. I'm successful.
People will admire me. And what I find
interesting about this concept is
that often times when you talk to some
people have reached that
level of success, reached the mountaintop,
a lot of them will say that it's not
what they thought that it was going to
be. It didn't really take away their
problems. They really weren't accepted
the way they thought that they were
going to be, and a lot of them still feel
So it's interesting to me that we
spend our lives looking for this
attention for this reason to be
validated in our lives and yet we still
don't feel it when we get it. We feel
like it's still not enough, like
something is still missing.
And when we reach that mountaintop, where do we go
from there? What do we do? Who are we ?
Why are we doing what we are doing?
And I think it
causes a crisis, a conflict with within
our minds because the expectations
that we have about life, the reasons
why we do what we do, come into question.
Why are we doing this? Why do we do this?
Why as humans do we feel the need to
accomplish these great feats in life?
Why is it even for a lot of people that
power is something they try to achieve?
What does greed get you in the end? Right?
All these people working so hard to get
these really nice cars and these really
nice houses and they think they're
gonna be happy. And maybe some people are.
I'm not gonna say that all people are
But what I find interesting is that,
the human mind adapts pretty quickly
after a while to happiness. So it becomes
just like anything else; you get what
you want and then you get used to it and
then it feels like everything else. I've
seen it time and time again. I've seen so
many stories of people that say they
bought this big house, they bought this
nice car, they reached the pinnacle of
success and they still felt miserable.
They still felt alone and if they didn't
even feel that they just felt normal
again. The house was the house, the car was
still the car. Even if it was a Ferrari.
I've seen it over and over and over
again. You see this with millionaires, or
people that win the lottery.
I mean it’s interesting, you know, and there's a lot
of studies that are done on this that
say that your level of happiness will
drop back to normal no matter what.
So then why are we convincing ourselves
that that is what we want? Why do we look
at these other people when we say, " That's
successful. That's what I want. I want
what they have."
Why are we doing this? I'm not saying
that there's anything wrong with
achievement. I'm not saying there's
anything wrong with overcoming things
and making yourself better. I think we
all want that. We all want to be
respected for our crafts, who we are, our
abilities. But I also don't understand
what is our need for this attention in a way that doesn't
really give us what we want from life.
I'm not saying I fully understand it
either way, but, it just seems amazing
that we're all working so hard to
achieve things in life and especially
creatives, and you know filmmakers and
musicians and entrepreneurs. We want to
be the next big thing. We want to be
the next big thing, and we
don't even really know why.
I mean we think we do. We think "I want to
feel validated. I want to feel like I'm
important. I want to feel like what I do
matters." And there's nothing wrong with
that. I just think in the context of why
we do it, can come into question if we
really aren't careful about it.
You know, when I was younger,
when I was a teenager, Kurt Cobain had
committed suicide. I was probably 15 or
16 years old. And I remember at that age
asking myself, "Why would someone who
achieved so much success in life, want to
kill himself?" And I really didn't
understand it back then. I
didn't know what I knew now, but it
really stuck with me for a really long
How can one go after the things that
matter in their life and achieve this
level success and still not be happy? And
here I am, you know, decades and decades
later, and I get the question.
You know, I mean, I get the answer to the
question. Because it isn't enough. It's
not what you expected.
It's these unrealistic expectations that we put on
ourselves. And I think to me, that's a
big fear even in my own life, is that
I'll be trying to achieve things, wanting
to go after things and still not be
happy. And I see it all the time. I see it
from other celebrities out there.
And so, what is a realistic expectation?
What's that you can hope for in your
life that's real, that's
manageable, that that your expectations
are just enough for you to feel like
you've accomplished something. And why
isn't what you have enough? Why isn't
what you're doing good enough? I mean
it's one thing if you're in certain
situations where you're dealing with
extreme stresses or extreme problems.
People in poverty, people in war,
people in abusive relationships,
addictions. And there's nothing wrong
with striving harder to overcome those
things. But beyond that point. Beyond the
point of survival. Beyond the
point of feeling safe and secure, which
is what we all need, what are we trying
to attain in life?
What is it that an actor wants when he wants to
be on the Hollywood stars, or you know,
his name on the Hollywood Boulevard of
I think there's this need for
immortality because we don't control
other things in our life. We can't
control death. We can't control most
things in life. And yet we hope that our
ideas live on. We hope there's something
about this that we transcend time, that
we broke these barriers of
uncertainty and fear and that we were
transcending something else.
That we were able to leave something greater than
ourselves behind. Because of the limitations of our life, because the fears that we have in our life.
I think for some people, fame is this temporary
drug. It's this very powerful drug that lures people in and makes them think that somehow that's gaining more
control of their life. Somehow they are
attaining some sort of level of love and
acceptance. But when they get to that
point and they realize how out of
control it really is, that they don't
even have control of the people that don't
like them. That criticize them. That
Or even if they had some level of success, it gets to their head,
and then they make bad decisions.
Then worse yet they try to maintain that
level. They consistently think that they
can keep up with that level of fame. We
see this time and time again with
musicians and singer songwriters. I
mean, how many people have you known who
had a successful album or a book. And
never wrote a good one again even though
they wrote plenty of them after that. And
that's always an interesting question in
What happens to the
creativity process there? Does it not
work anymore? Does the pressure become
too much? So there's got to be a level of
acceptance that you have in your life.
What are you willing to accept?
That's an important
question for all of us. I don't
know what levels I'm willing to accept.
But I think it's an interesting perspective.
To try tonthink about our needs for acceptance.
Our needs in this world now we're constantly
connected to each other,
where popularity and how many people
like you and validation and how many
people respond to you, also runs up
against criticism and hate and judgment
and negativity. Something that we all do.
Something we're all guilty of doing.
I'm guilty of doing the exact same thing.
Criticizing. Tearing down.
So it's interesting this dynamics that we have
and this perspective that we have
on things, and then what's worse is how
much destruction do we put into our
lives, doing these things? What do we
sacrifice? What are we sacrificing in our
lives to achieve these things? What are
we giving up? What relationships are we
giving up? How much of ourselves are we
How many masks are we actually wearing
to achieve these things?
These are fundamental questions. These are
fundamental questions about who we are
as a species, as a human being. What are
we doing? Why are we doing what we're doing?
What is the roles we're playing in these
situations? And so when we ask ourselves
these things, one of the things we also
need to do is try to figure out what is
our needs? What is our actual wants?
What's underneath all of it?
What's in it for us to
have all these followers?
What's in it for us to have all these
fans? All these people who think that
they know us. Because they hear us on TV
and they hear us in music and they see us
in writings, but don't really actually
know us. Do they need to? Is it their
responsibility to know who we are?
Or is it our responsibility know who we?