Abuse and Control

I was researching domestic violence, and I notice some characteristics of people who are abusers who try to control people.  These are some characteristics taken from Web MD, and questions to ask yourself:


  • Embarrass you with put-downs?
  • Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
  • Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?
  • Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
  • Take your money or paycheck, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money?
  • Make all of the decisions?
  • Tell you that you're a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
  • Threaten to commit suicide?
  • Prevent you from working or going to school?
  • Act like the abuse is no big deal or is your fault, or even deny doing it?
  • Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
  • Intimidate you with guns, knives, or other weapons?
  • Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
  • Threaten to kill you?

So how many of these things does religion and God do as well to get you to believe?  And why?

  • Why do they need to make you feel worthless and weak to be good?
  • Why do they employ tactics like hell to scare you?
  • Why do they want to control what you do, who you see, or talk to you?  Why do you listen?
  • Why do they stop you from seeing friends and family who think otherwise?
  • Why do they take your money, make you ask for money, or refuse to give it to you?
  • Why do they make all the decisions?
  • Why do they tell you that you don't have the ability to raise your child, and they do?
  • Why does everyone hold up the death or martyrdom of their prophet as a noble act?
  • Why do they act like the abuse of the church is no big deal, even deny doing it?
  • Why do they destroy your property or threaten to kill you?
  • Why do they intimidate you for not believing?

If we know that domestic violence and abuse are not love, why do we think these religions are?  Why do we think this interpretations of God are?  I see women everyday who defend their abusive husbands, sometimes out of fear, and it appears no different than those who defend religion.  In fact, there are religions that deny the rights of women.  Even at its core it's abusive.

Any system that tells you that you cannot think for yourself, or that does not allow you think for yourself, is doing so because it lacks any control.  It is actually a true sign of it's weakness.  Most men who have tried to gain power in this world, came from childhoods where they felt weak and isolated.  You are not weak.  You can think for yourself.  You just have to allow yourself to do so.

We have evolved to survive, and give yourself credit for being able to think and evolve.  Give yourself credit that you don't have to be perfect, that you make mistakes, but you can, if you choose, make better decisions by learning and growing.

You wouldn't want your kid to be abused, so why do you let yourself?