Stress is a motherfucker. No doubt. I cannot tell you how many times I have snapped at people in my life, or fucked shit up because of the huge amount of stress my body has accumulated over my life.
Most of us do not understand just how much stress effects our thinking and who we are. The brain is a very powerful machine, but the intense stress we put it under doesn't allow it to fully function, and sometimes makes us more, well, pissed the fuck off or not thinking straight.
Stress also creates a lot of anxiety. We fear a lot of things, sometimes irrationally, because of perceived threats. The reality is that sometimes a lot of these threats really are bullshit. But boy do we want to believe and hold on to them. We have programmed ourselves over many years, we have trained ourselves to believe a lot of the threats are true.
Hell, society itself wants us to believe it's true. That's how pervasive it is.
This just adds to more stress. The stress triggers off more thinking, and more anxiety. It's a vicious cycle. After the anxiety subsides, and the stress passes, we realize a lot of times we really weren't thinking straight.
Why? Even though we know we are stressed and apeshit, our brain's logic centers (the areas that let us think straight and make better decisions) actually shut down to put us in survival mode.
Think of your computer getting a virus, and having to restart in "Safe Mode". When your computer is in "Safe Mode", it is only using basic programs to run, and not all applications are being used until you figure out the problem.
So you really aren't thinking optimally.
Sometimes that stress and anxiety turns into fear. It's your brain short-circuiting to a default mechanism to control the situation. Anger might help you in a situation where your life really is in danger, such as a animal attacking you. But in our modern world, our anger is an attempt to control a threat; real or imagined.
The reality is that it doesn't control anything, and our body and minds are being flooded with chemicals that react to that anger. We eventually become addicted to it.
So while we are being total assholes to the world, thinking we are justified in our anger, people don't see that we are reacting to years of pain and suffering, and that fuse is very short. It's because we are protecting ourselves from further suffering and pain.
It's like a rat in a cage who feels threatened. Even when you try to help it, it might attack you. There are techniques to dealing with this. I would say first off, try and seek professional help if the shit is really bad. That way there is someone qualified to give you good information that is specific to your needs. Reading a blog or watching a video is a good first step, but a better step is talking to someone who can specifically help you in your unique situation.
Be aware of your thoughts. In all reality, we can't control a lot of shit in our lives, but the way we respond to it will a lot of time determine our overall mental health. Sometimes we are not aware of our decisions and our thoughts in those moments.
I am just as guilty for having these problems. I get angry all the fucking time over shit I have no control over. But every time I have tried to understand anger and anxiety and talk to professionals, it seems our thoughts, and our responses to then situation, is the key to dealing with it better.
Find out what is going on in the brain. Recognize what is happening with you. I find the thing that helps me the most about dealing with this is learning more and more about it. In a weird way, it helps with the anxiety and stress because I find there are more ways to solve the problem than I realize.
A lot of the times, that's what we are. Problem solving machines. Even in our anger and depression, we are trying to solve or resolve a problem. Suicide many times is the belief that the problem cannot be solved. But this isn't true.
Once you clear your mind from this belief, you'll notice that while you do not have control over everything else, you do have the decision and ability to respond to the situation. Your perception creates your reality.
You just have to train your mind to recognize it. I don't expect my anxiety or stress to go away anytime soon. This is going to be, has been, a very long process. But I do know there a lot of other people out there just like me working on the problem, and I think we are getting better at understanding it.
I hope so, because me getting angry at dumb shit isn't what I want to do for the rest of my life. But me understanding it is.